


Help me, I'm dying too

by I_am_not_crazy_just_passionate



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Born to Die, Fluff, Other, Recovery, Sad, Sass, Suicide Attempt, Supernatural imagine, imagine, lana del rey - Freeform, mention of depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-20 16:11:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3656721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_not_crazy_just_passionate/pseuds/I_am_not_crazy_just_passionate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine being Bela's younger sister and seeing the winchester after their death</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I tried very hard with that one.. wasn't published in the tumblr page I submitted to but oh well, at least I have an account here

It was a nightmare having to live without her, to know she was somewhere worse than death itself. Simply unbearable.  
Your sister, Bela, was all you had left in this world, she was your everything. You knew she was the one to kill your parent, you knew she was a thief and an asshole but she was also your sister. All she ever wanted was the best for you both.  
You loved her more than anything.  
But she was rotting in hell as you lived.  
She was probably screaming, begging for mercy, asking nothing but for it to be over.  
You couldn’t take it anymore. You had to be with her again. That’s why you summoned him. You never knew if it would work for real and frankly, a part of you hoped it didn’t.  
But it happened so well and so fast.  
An old man with grey hair and dark skin appeared before you and that’s all you saw of him because you just needed this to be over.  
-I want my sister back. I need her.  
-Your sister?  
-Her real name is Abbie. You are keeping her in hell. You rotten piece of shit, give me my sister back, I’ll give anything, I’ll give you my soul if that’s what you want.  
-Honey, that’s exactly what I want.  
Your throat tighten and it became so hard to breath. You had waited so long to have the guts to do it and now that it was happening, it was terrifying.  
-Take it then, I don’t need it.  
He smiled and licked his lips, his tongue reminded you of a venomous snake and fear made each of your muscle shake violently.  
-We will see again in ten years then.  
You said in a breath, praying for your word to be understood despite the tremble of your voice. You were as excited to see her again than you were petrified to pronounce those words, knowing perfectly it was going to happen for real.  
-Oh no my dear. I’m just a simple demon, it will be hard to bring her back. I’ll give you five.  
You nodded, unable to wait longer.  
-Be it then.  
His crooked smile once again shined. He leaned in about to kiss your lips. That moment you knew about, your sister had told you all the details of her deal so many time it was robotic.  
But you never felt his lips on yours.  
You heard him scream, you saw black smoke everywhere and then you saw his eyes shine a bright golden light. You saw a knife dragged out of his chest.  
Someone was holding the knife.  
You didn’t knew him.  
You didn’t screamed and there was no reason for it. You were surprise for sure, but all you could think of was the deal. It was never sealed. So she wouldn’t come back. And if it meant that the man would do the same thing to you, you couldn’t care less.  
You didn’t even closed your eyes, you just look right back at his face, boiling from the inside. It was his fault now. He needed to be the one responsible now because you were too tired to put that on yourself. It was his fault, it was him.  
He abused your sister, he made a deal with her, he killed her, he send her in hell. It was his fault because you needed, for once, someone to take the blame.  
-Kill me now.  
Something in him lighten up, like he suddenly realized that you were here.  
-Come with me, I’m going to explain what happened.  
-I know what happened.  
He turned to someone who was walking toward you two and shrugged to him.  
-I tried to make a deal. I tried to get my sister back and you guys… you just killed her again so do me a favor and stab me in the neck.  
-Thrust me, it’s not a good idea.  
They looked at each other as if it was something that happened often.  
-Come with us.  
The taller one showed you his hand but you refuse.  
-What’s your name?  
-(y/n)  
-Alright (y/n), you should maybe call someone to pick you. What you did was… well it was stupid, understood? I don’t think you realized what it meant, it would have…  
-Killed me? Well that was exactly what I wanted!  
They sighed at the same time. You could see it in their eyes, they weren’t taking you seriously and it drove you insane. They were like everyone else except Bela. You were an idiot, a silly girl whose hopes and dreams didn’t mattered. Like everyone looking down their nose at you. Because for them you weren’t good enough and that was one of the reason you needed her again.  
-I wanted to do it for my sister. I’d have died just to be able to see her one more time. You wouldn’t understand.  
-We do (y/n), we really but you should go home now. Call a friend, call a parent.  
-I don’t have anyone.  
You cut him sharply.  
-Just go home and get over it.  
Said the second one. His voice was once again condescending even it wasn’t his goal it made you feel so angry again, it felt like your head was going to explode.  
-My sister’s name was Abbie. Abbie Talbot. I need her again. I need her as much as she needs me. If you guys really wanted to help me, you’d have let me finish that deal.  
You saw their eyes widening at the mention of your sister’s name.  
-Abbie Talbot? As in Bela Talbot?  
-Yes, everyone called her Bela, even herself… I was the only one to…  
-(y/n), I think we knew your sister  
You frowned, it was impossible. No one really knew your sister. The only thing close to a relation she ever had was with an old drunk she told you about. Not another friend or enemy who lived long enough to remember her name.  
-No one knew my sister.  
-She was a thief.  
-A great thief! Added the shorter one with a smirk which instantly whipped out of his face when he realized how inappropriate that was.  
-Who are you?  
-I’m Sam, this is my brother Dean.  
Their name were familiar. It wasn’t fresh, it seemed like an old memory, something you never thought was important at the time. They were like ghost you never really saw and only vaguely heard about. But it didn’t changed the fact that you knew their name.  
-Winchester.  
You whispered from the tip of your lips. They were poison and that’s all you knew about them. All Bela ever said was that you should never talk to them because whoever they cross path with die at one point.  
Even her.  
-Get away from me.  
You sharply said, turning heels. You were going to listen to what your sister always said, she deserve you away from them.  
-(y/n) wait!  
You just walked faster. You just needed to get out of this place. You’ll find another crossroad demon. It was just a matter of time.  
You were so centered on your idea that you didn’t heard them getting closer.  
You jumped and gasped when Dean grabbed your arm firmly.  
-We can’t let you go like that. I doubt you have a car and even if you did, you’re not in a state to drive.  
You just realized how much of a mess you were. You were crying, panicking to be exact. But you weren’t going to stay with them.  
-I’ll call a taxi. Just leave me alone  
-So you can find another crossroad demon? I don’t think so.  
You looked down.  
-We get it more than you think. You want your sister back and it hurts to be without her. You feel like everything is out of control, that your world is dead by now. This was a chance, an opportunity and we just ripped it apart. I get why you’re angry. But it’s not a solution.  
-How could you, possibly, get what it feels like, did you ever lost your brother in hell?  
They turned to each other and nodded. Both of them.  
-Yes. Heaven, hell, purgatory even Lucifer’s cage! Sold my soul once, worth it the time I was alive but after that…  
Dean’s jaw tightened and you saw something in his eyes for a brief moment, despair, sadness, suffering, it wasn’t clear but it was there and you knew but you still asked.  
-You went in hell too? When?  
-Not very long after your sister.  
-How was it like?  
-Exactly how you’d imagine it. Like hell.  
-One more reason to bring her back then.  
-No it’s not. Because then it would be your time. And she will suffer as much as you are suffering right now. Bela is a strong girl, she’s probably okay.  
Of course Dean knew it was a lie but there was no reason to tell the truth.  
-You’re probably right you know but I don’t care. I’m sad and I’m depressed so leave me alone.  
You hissed the last part of your sentence and turned around. This time they didn’t followed you and despite what your head said, you still hoped that they would stop you again. You were too lonely to refuse someone’s help.  
You were now crying again but your mind was at a different place. It was such a selfish feeling but yet, you found yourself lost in it. You wanted someone to be there for you, to tell you it wasn’t your fault but you had to reject your only hope in years because you couldn’t consent to someone’s idea.  
‘I’ll be better off dead’ you thought.  
And it was with that same thought that you went back inside your home. A small apartment you found yourself into after Bela’s death, unable to stay in that big house full of painful souvenir.  
You walked into the bathroom, your face was now emotionless. Each one of your thought were concentrated on how pathetic you felt. How sad. How depress and suicidal.  
There were pills inside that bathroom. You took the pot in your hand and contemplated what was inside. There was a lot, enough to kill yourself. Sadly their original purpose were the contrary but you stopped using them a long time ago.  
You looked at yourself in the mirror and couldn’t think of a single thing to tell to yourself. You were just done.  
You started the water and some music. If a Talbot was going to die again it had to be done with style. You smiled at that but it was just another remember of why you were sad. Abbie.  
It was Lana Del Rey’s Born to die, that played in the background. It wasn’t the perfect song but maybe it was.  
‘Feet don’t fail me now, take me to the finish line…’  
You sighed and took five pills at once that you swallowed with the water that was still running.  
‘All my heart, it breaks, every step that I take, But I’m hoping that the gates they’ll tell me that you’re mine…’  
And you took five more.  
‘Walking through the city’s streets, is it by mistake or design…’  
Again.  
‘I feel so alone on a Friday night, can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you’re mine…’  
And again.  
At this point you were dizzy like you had never been. You leaned your back on the bathroom wall and slid down slowly, as slow as the song that was fading in the silent. The back of your throat was burning but you knew it wasn’t going to last long so you ignored it.  
It was all so distant, the song, the walls, the floor. You were flying and it was so peaceful.  
You didn’t even moved when the Winchester broke into the house.  
You were too tired to do anything at this point, so you closed your eyes.  
\---  
You weren’t supposed to wake up and yet you did.  
Your throat was sore and you found it hard to breath but it wasn’t impossible. You recognized the room you were in. It was yours and it was your bed but it felt so weird.  
You had no memory of dragging yourself outside the bathroom but here you were.  
You turned to look at the clock.  
It was already 11 in the morning. Your heart jumped for a second when you remembered what happened last night.  
You wanted to believe it was because something good happened, that it was god’s will to let at least one Talbot alive but you were too literal to let that cross your mind for too long.  
You heard voices from the kitchen and images started to get to your brain but they were vague, so vague you couldn’t remember clearly.  
Maybe something about people breaking into your house, maybe not.  
Your walk was steady, probably still affected by how much you took that night. The voice were closer, clearer. You recognized them.  
‘’I still think we should have dropped her at a hospital. Thanks to you she’s okay but she need some kind of help we can’t give her’’  
That was Sam, the taller one with the long soft hair.  
‘’(y/n) don’t need a doctor, she need a family, a friend, anything that could make her feel home even when she isn’t in any special location. She need the same thing you and Dean gave me’’  
This voice you didn’t recognized but what he said almost brought you to tears because he got able to put into word what you couldn’t even make clear in your head.  
It was silent now, that mystery man probably just shot down any of their doubt about leaving you like that.  
‘’I guess she’ll be our responsibility now’’  
It was Dean that time.  
‘’Kinda hope she’ll be more than a responsibility’’  
After Sam’s sentence, you walked in the kitchen.  
Everyone stood up from his chair and it they all kept their breath in.  
‘’Why did you came back for me?’’  
That was all you found to ask.  
‘’Why? Because we damn knew what you wanted to do’’  
‘’No. I mean why? Why was it important.’’  
‘’Because you are important. You matter okay don’t forget that’’  
You tried to be proud, to raise your chin and to get that I-don’t-care attitude back but couldn’t.  
‘’Who are you?’’ you turned to the stranger with a trench coat and blue tie.  
‘’My name is Castiel. I’m an angel of the lord.’’  
You looked at him twice and smiled weakly. He was maybe crazy, it was maybe weird his presence made you felt like you had all the time in the world to make it clear enough.  
‘’So… what will happen now, we say good luck and goodbye to never see each other again? You guys drive around and kill a few monster and I stay here alone?’’  
There was no sarcasm in your voice, because you knew exactly that it was going to happen.  
But they proved you wrong.  
‘’Of course not (y/n). No one gets left behind, not you, not us.’’  
You leaned on a wall and nodded. They were sincere. Maybe it was all going to be alright after all.  
\----  
After that night, Cas stayed with you an entire week. He talked with you a lot. Well actually it was mostly the contrary that happened but sometimes he told you tales about where he was from. You talked about the weather, the movie you loved, the food you ate. Everything but that night because there was no time for that. During that week you had found yourself, for a brief moment, almost forgetting about her death.  
The month that followed were more lonely but never has they had been. Once every three or four days one of the Winchester or Castiel would come knock at your doors to make sure if you were alright. Sometimes they would stay for the night, sometime they couldn’t even make it inside because they were in a hurry. But it always felt great to know you had them by your side.  
Once every two weeks all of them would come have dinner at your house and you would talk all night.  
You didn’t count the days anymore and it hurt a little less every time you would see something that remind you of her. And when the day were unbearable Castiel would come and stay with you. He wouldn’t talk and he would just take you in his arm and wait for you to stop crying. But those days became rare and you started to smile more often.  
She wasn’t a painful memory anymore. She was still your sister but now you weren’t alone with her pictures. Now you had a fallen angel and two hunter as a family and it was nice.  
All those month brought you at this particular dinner with your friend. You were all having a good moment, the food was nice, the hunt had been easy for the Winchester and Castiel kept being his nice self.  
The phone rang. And you got up, completely ignoring Dean’s sarcastic remark of you not being polite for walking to the phone instead of listening to his jokes.  
‘’Hello’’  
There was no answer on the other line. You were about to hung up when you heard someone almost scream.  
‘’(y/n) it’s me. I need your help’’  
That’s when you recognize her voice.  
Bela was back, she was alive but your blood froze at the thought of her not being herself.  
Not really herself. Something nightmare shiver about.


	2. quiet

-Abbie?

Your voice cracked and the room went silence. Everyone had just dropped whatever they were doing. The atmosphere was so heavy.

-Yes. It is… It’s me.

She sounded so close and so far away at the same time it was physical torture that you were putting upon yourself for believing it was her. 

-You have to help me.

-Where are you Abbie? 

There was no answer you just heard a really loud noise and a muffled scream and then there was no one at the end of the line.

-Abbie? ABBIE! Answer me!

You just realized that Sam was right next to you. He was worried, worried by you and by what you said.

-You sure it’s her?

You nodded and looked at the phone again as if you weren’t able to understand what had really happened.

-Give me the phone (y/n).

You just realized how hard you were holding it, you would have bled if your nails could have touched your palm. Slowly you moved and Sam took it back.

-Cas, could you search quickly were the call comes from. (y/n) tell us what she said.

He held your hands calmly and as slow as you could move, you followed him to the table.

-She was screaming, she sounded so worried. I think something or someone was after her. I need to found her, to save her, she’s in danger.

-We will (y/n).

-I believe that your sister is in Queens…

-Make sense, I buried her near her house… our house.

-Okay let’s hit the road.

It took one hour to get there. One hour of pure stress and agony. There was only silence because you weren’t able to communicate without shaking. That was until you had to tell them the final road to your hold house since you wanted to start there.

-Take Rideghood, it’s faster

-I know where I’m going (y/n).

-What?

-I’ve visited your sister once. We threatened to kill each other, had a sass competition and then I zap out. It was good time.

You knew that Bela and Dean didn’t had the best of relation but you never thought that they actually tried to kill one another. Bela never talked about her adventure, she wanted to keep you safe.

Then, at your old place, you shaken yourself before looking at Cas. He was worried for you in a way no one has been before.

-So. What now? 

-I say you guys ask about my sister to the new people and me and Cas we look around to see if there’s anything. Give me a call as soon as you have something.

They all nodded and you were about to follow Cas outside but Dean grabbed your arm.

-We’ll find her. Okay?

You didn’t had the courage to actually answer so you just sighed and got out.

-We should go to the graveyard. It’s maybe at five minutes of walk. 

Castiel was calm, Castiel understood.  
But he couldn’t help but say.

-You know that maybe your sister is not herself anymore.

-Yes. I know.

It was sharp and Cas didn’t deserved how you answered but that’s what Bela would have done in this situation, make him shut up, no matter if he was right or not.

 

\--

 

There was one policeman and a journalist next to her grave. The reason of their visit was obvious, a big hole took place right at the place she was supposed to be six foot under.  
You felt your stomach ache and almost vomited. It wasn’t supposed to happen, not like that.

-I will find her you hear me. Demon or not, I will.

There was some sort of determination in your voice that would have sound, for the wrong person, like despair. You needed it so bad.

-I don’t think she’s a demon.

-Why? Isn’t that how demons are made, in hell?

-Yes they are but they don’t simply come back. They have to find a body, they can’t just take place in dead people, certainly not in their death body, they wouldn’t be called demon then, they’ll just be zombies…

-Get to the point.

-When Dean was in hell, I was the one who brought in back in his own body.

-Are you saying that an angel did the same to Bela?

-It’s a possibility.

You nodded, thoughtful. It couldn’t be but what Cas told you but at least it was a start you couldn’t ignore. And hope was in the air, Bela wasn’t a demon or at least not for now.  
Your phone rang and recognized Dean’s number.

-Bela came to that place (y/n). They said she was hysterical and that she was screaming your name and right after they called the police, she had disappeared. 

-I’m at the graveyard. Either she crawled out herself or someone helped her.

-So she’s alive.

-yes. Meet me there, we need your ID to pass to her grave.

Once you were able to be closer to her coffin it was worse than you imagined. There was blood inside of it, blood from scratching, blood from screaming, blood everywhere, for every reason.  
The worst wasn’t there. What really was catching the attention of everyone was the five foot wide hole that couldn’t have been dig from the inside. Someone made sure she would be able to get out but not that easily.  
The coffin still had to be broken from the inside.  
You imagined your sister screaming and hitting. Hoping to be able to get out herself.   
How long it had probably took, how much time you wasted not thinking about her.  
Your phone rang again but everyone you knew was next to you, except maybe…

-Abbie?

-Yes. It’s me. It’s me…

She sounded exhausted but hearing her meant the world right now.

-Where are you?

-I don’t know, open the GPS on your phone and come pick me up.

-Yes, hang on a minute.

Bela never asked for anything, not even a ride. There was something very wrong about this.

-I got it… I’m coming for you… I got you.

-Goodbye, little fly

You hung up and told where to go to the boy, only pointing out the obvious once in the car.

-There is someone or something with her.

-Like a good thing or a bad thing.

-It’s bad Dean, life threatening bad. Be prepared because I don’t know what it is.

-How sure of that are you?

-You aren’t the only one who got code phrases boys.

Dean sighed and you felt the car going faster.  
You took a gun from the car’s back and walked determinate. You knew you had help behind you and there was no reason for you to back up. It was like going on a straight line in a curve, impossible but happening.  
You heard screaming, hysterical ones. It sounded like the kind of voices you would hear from an insane victim. Asking for help but never able to receive one.  
From the corner of that place you saw her she was wounded, everywhere. It was all minor but each one felt they were carving into your soul. She was on her knees, she was held in place by a hand whose face you couldn’t see.

Pow. You shoot.  
Pow. He’s not dead yet.  
Pow. Now Bela is screaming.  
Pow, Pow, Pow.

-STOP (y/n)! STOP IT.

Dean cried out, pulling you back instantly. You fell down in shock as he ran before you, he was trying to be your shield for something you didn’t knew about.  
Sam helped you out as Castiel walked to the stranger.  
He had this look on his face that you saw only one time in your short life. The same look he gave to Sam when he inform you both that Dean was in danger. An angry determination that scared you to death.

-Castiel.

-Get out of this body before I rip you to shred!

-Oh dear, he’s already dead.

-Then…

A blade you never saw, long and silvery, flew in the air. It lend right in the middle of his forehead making the thing’s eyes glow like the first time you met the Winchester.

-Bela… BELA! You pushed yourself away from the brothers and ran to her, not caring about possible danger. She was there, she looked alive.

-Hey, hey it’s okay.

She was crying. You ever remember of seeing her crying once. It wasn’t even real tears, it was when one time she went too fast on the road and got arrested, she cried so hysterically the police officer let you both go without anything. Now she was crying for real. She wasn’t confident anymore, she wasn’t ready to kick a bitch.   
She was broken and you knew by the look in her eyes that she would never be like she was, ever again.

-You’re okay now, I’m here, I’m here… you’re safe, alright.

You held her tight, repeating those words to her and to yourself. It was a lie, it wasn’t okay but maybe you were right, she was safe.  
You could feel her nails digging your back and her teeth shattering inside her mouth as she bit her tongue. She was trying to make sure it was really you and you were trying to do the same.

-(y/n).

The soft voice of Sam broke the silent in between the screaming.

-(y/n)… Cas need to take a look at her, to make sure it really is Bela.

You nodded and as you step back Bela reach you like a small child. It wasn’t her, it wasn’t the sister you knew. The Bela you knew never needed anyone, she never reached for anyone, not for you, not for them.

-It’s okay, Castiel won’t hurt you. Don’t be scared.

You told her in a distant voice you didn’t recognized. It wasn’t like you imagined, she was not happy to see you, she was just petrified of everything else.  
So when Cas approached, she started to scream again. She wasn’t even trying to defend herself, the look in her eyes made you think that maybe it was just because she couldn’t anymore.

-She’s clear

You let out a sigh of relief and help her walking to the car.

-We’re going to a safe place alright, there will be nothing to worry about there… You’re okay.

She nodded silently and continued her floppy walk to the car. Before going in she turned a few time her head, looking for something no one found.

-No one’s following us Abbie, right Cas.

He looked again and shook his head.

After an hour rolling, she was passed out next to you and you decided to talk.

-It’s not my sister

-What are you talking about? She’s human, she’s got your DNA in her.

-No cas, there’s something odd about her. Ever since I saw her back I can’t recognized her, at all.

-Hell does that to you (y/n)… She’s in shock… It’s normal, in a way. 

-You didn’t reacted like that.

-Well I didn’t told you how bad it was exactly down stairs.

-Explain me then… we have eleven hours to go so.

-A year in hell is like a hundred and twenty. Your sister spend around six years there, I let you imagine. Hell is being tortured all day all night, it’s screaming and asking for help   
every time. It’s begging, it’s humiliation. It’s doing so until you can’t anymore and the tables turn. It’s torturing, earing others screaming and begging between your fingers… Hell, well its hell.

-Why didn’t you told me.

-There was no need to give you more reason to sell your soul

You thought of it and had to recognize he was right.

-And the other reason why I wasn’t like that is because I had seen worse than your sister before. I was a hunter, she was a thief.

You knew what he meant but his words felt like boiling water in your vein, as if she had never lived what was bad. Because she had and he didn’t knew it.  
Ten hours and two stop at drive through later, you were at the bunker. You had never been there, thinking it would lead to too much trouble. Hell, you didn’t knew the existence of this bunker until you heard a phone conversation between Sam and Dean. You thought it was weird, at first, but then realized that everything is weird with them.  
You let her wash herself but you had to stay close, right next to the shower actually and when she got out, after an eternity, you tried to hide the shock in your eyes when you saw all the blood that had stained the floor and the walls of it.  
At this point she was quiet and looked like she walked on eggs, she was so sad to watch, so scary.

-I’m happy you’re back Abbie

Your sister didn’t answered, as if she couldn’t recognized herself in your words.

-You’re probably starving, I’m sure the boys have something to eat.

She followed, head downs, to the kitchen. To which you got lost in the way, unable to remember what doors lead to what.

-Dean, do you guys have anything to eat?

-I think there’s some stuff to finish a sandwich in the fridge

-Sweet.

You smiled to Bela. She didn’t smiled back, she was still shaking and when she had the plate in front of her eyes she was shaking and when you tried to put her to bed she was shaking.  
And so quiet.

-Maybe she will talk tomorrow (y/n). Don’t worry too much.

-Thanks Sam.

That night you couldn’t sleep because you were waiting.   
The morning lead you still to wait.

-Bela, can you tell me something, anything.

-Am I still in hell?

You frowned. You were calm but happy to hear her voice. 

-No, no you’re not. Don’t you worry. It’s all me now.

-They made me kill you there (y/n), I don’t remember how much time I’ve killed you, it felt so real. I’m so sorry that I did it, please I’m sorry…

You held her tight for the second time in two days and around the fifth time of all your life.

-It’s okay. You never killed me for real Abbie, ever, this was just a big bad dream.

-A big, bad, dream.

She repeated after you with a deep breath.

-Are you guys okay?

-Dean?

-Hi Bela.

-I saw you in hell. At the beginning. I remember seeing you.

He sighed and walked next to you.

-How did you got out Bela?

-I escaped.

That was the most lucid she seems to have been in hours.

-How?

-He helped me.

You took her face between your palms and started to get impatient. You were so scared of who she could have screwed with.

-Who?

-I couldn’t see his face.

-Do you have a name?

She smiled, that smile you wished you had recognized but couldn’t. It was so odd, it wasn’t a happy smile, it was the kind of smile the mad and the sick gives you after being told they were insane.

-They called him the king.

-Crowley?

That smile again. You wished you could just rip it out her face.


	3. Chapter 3

-Who is this Crowley, Dean?

Bela was out again. After what she told she panicked again, maybe it was because she wasn’t supposed to say his name or to hear it. But the point was, she was now looking in the void, rocking her body back and forth. You decided to let her calm down alone, at this point there was nothing you could do.

-She said it herself, the king of hell.

-That’s bad, really bad!

Sam just joined you two, his hair was wet and it showed how rapidly he must have dressed just to be able to understand what the screaming was about.

-What’s going on?

-Bela got out because of a Crowley?

You saw Sam swallowed nervously. This was even worse than you imagined.

-Crowley?

-Well that’s what Dean said. She said the king of hell and your brother responded by this name. If you don’t explain me who it is and what the hell does he want with my sister, I   
will tear my eyes out!

-We know him… It’s pretty complicated.

-You guys know the king of hell?

-Kind of.

You sighed and rubbed your face aggressively. You just realized how, although you knew the Winchester, you didn’t really knew what they were doing with their life other than killing monsters. It was alright this way, until now.

-I guess you can’t just call the king of hell… right?

-Actually…

-Oh my god. 

You whispered, discouraged by how ridiculous this conversation was going.  
Dean nodded and got out his phone, typing what was probably Crowley’s number. While he was doing so, you turned to Sam, hoping to get a little distraction.

-Where’s the angel?

-I don’t know, he vanished while Bela was taking a shower.

You knew Castiel was busy but you still felt a bit sad to know he didn’t found the whole situation important enough to stay and help. Maybe you were overreacting but at this point you didn’t knew anything about anything.

-He’s not answering.

-Awesome, so what do we do about it? Wait until my sister get killed again!?

You screamed. You were really tired and the whole situation didn’t helped how irritated you were.

-We’ll just summon him, don’t worry.

-Summon a demon! Here? You guys can do that?

-trust us (y/n), it's the safest place and the king of hell isn't the image you are making of him. He's a coward but if he did something to Bela, there’s a reason.

This was horribly wrong, all of this was so wrong.

-I’ll try to get Bela…

They nodded and you turned around. While you tried to stay sane, you were just overwhelmed by the situation. 

You knocked calmly on her door, which, what a surprises, she didn't answered.

-Com'on Abbie, you need to help us. 

You entered, apprehending nothing.

She was lying on the floor unconscious or dead... 

You shook her shoulders and she didn't answered and then you put your fingers right at the tip of her mouth and realized she wasn't breathing. That was when you lost it. You shook her even rougher and screamed at her face.

-BELA YOU HAVE TO WAKE UP! WAKE UP, PLEASE!

She wasn't moving at all and the Winchester couldn’t hear you. It was a nightmare.

-CASTIEL HELP ME, CASTIEL COME DOWN! 

The angel came right away and pushed you away from her. That was how you truly realized he was an angel of the lord. Of course, you knew it for as long as you knew him but it didn’t felt like that. For you he was just Castiel, the angel who told story and stayed silent when you talked.

-Please Bela... come back.

A bright blue light from the angel and you closed your eyes, it was so intense, never in your life had you seen something like that. It was exactly how you imagined a soul to look like. You wanted to look, of course, but couldn't.

She breathed again and jumped back three feet.

-(y/n)? 

That was your sister, that voice, that way to talk and to move, that was her. Now you were able to recognize who you had in front of you.

-Who are you?

She asked to Cas. She almost sounded mean asking that. It was really her.

-He saved you Bela. He saved me too. He's a friend.

-Where am I?

You almost ran the four feet that separated you from your sister and hugged her archly. It was the sixth time of all your life you hugged her and it felt great.

-I can’t believe it worked

-what worked?

-I’m alive, I’m here, with you.

-what? You don’t remember?

-remember what?

-You’ve been alive for more than a day.

-I wasn’t.

She looked down and for a second you saw the frightened soul she was just an hour ago.

-Cas, do you know anything about this?

-Actually yes. That’s why I’m here.

Bela’s blue eyes had never been brighter, you couldn’t get your gaze out of her. She was back, for real this time and although she was there, you never felt as far apart for her.

-Can you just explain me where I am first?

-You remember Sam and Dean Winchester?

She tightened her jaw and sighed, she remembered them more than you thought.

-How could I forget?

-This is their house. 

-Alright.

-That’s it, just alright? You are not going to freak out a bit? 

-Why?

-You are back from hell Abbie.

-Stop calling me Abbie.

You frowned, this was too much her. She had been back for less than five minutes and already on her guard. Damn, you forgot how you also missed that.

-Alright… knobhead.

She smiled like she used to. Of course you found yourself able to see that she had a secret, emotions, regrets hidden in her soul but ignored them for now.  
Cas coughed to get your attention. You almost forgot that one. For a second it was just you and your sister, like before.

-Sorry Cas, what were you saying?

-It wasn’t Bela in this body, of course she had the same DNA as you but that’s only because it was in her blood.

-What?

You understood everything, expect this.

-How can you know that, what are you?

-I’m an angel.

She frowned and breathed out, she had suddenly felt something. Like if she was now able to make a connexion between here and hell between them and demons.

-Have we seen each other somewhere?

-I don’t…

She got closer to him, looking at his face, his eyes, and his grace. Everything to try to remember why he looked so familiar.

-You’ve been in hell didn’t you?

-(y/n)! 

Dean was calling you from the other room, making Bela jump for a brief moment.

-Follow me.

You grabbed her wrist and walked to the place they were supposed to make the king appear. Having her like that you couldn’t help but noticed how different she still was. You   
could feel it deep in your soul that Bela would never forget what happened in hell.  
You heard his voice before seeing his face.

-Why am I here? Do I have to remind you that I’m the bloody king, I have work to do… responsibilities!

Dean pointed Bela with his chin and your sister looked as surprise to see Crowley than he was.   
They had done something to each other’s. Maybe it was cruel, maybe it was sad but it sure wasn’t healthy because as soon as she saw his face, she walked in front of you, like she always did when there was danger.

-And her, is she one of your responsibilities?

-Bela Talbot. What a surprise to see you here.

You didn’t liked him. It took just a look and you already decided how you felt about him, your guts were screaming to run away from him.

-Coward is it? Oh no I forgot, your name was Crowley was it?

So much sass, so little understatement. Especially for the brothers who had no idea what had happened in the room.

-Crowley are you the one who brought back Bela?

Sam broke the fight everyone in the room felt was going to break soon and it relieved the tension built up inside your head and you breathed again.

-Bringing back this traitor would have killed me. Of course I didn’t.

Traitor? You knew Bela had never been soft on the side but playing with king of hell that was a new one.

-Then who did?

-Why don’t you ask her?

-She doesn’t know.

Bela stepped closer to the boys, taking suddenly more place in the room than anyone before.

-How can you tell, maybe I do.

Something in Dean changed. He recognized the Bela he had insulted the minute before she died, the Bela he tried to kill and who tried to kill him. 

-I’m sorry but just five minutes ago you were rocking back in front looking like a god damn mentally challenged sad puppy.

-I have no idea what you’re talking about, Winchester. 

She wanted to kill him, to kill everyone in this room, maybe even you. That was the only thing you feared about your sister, how cold blooded she could be sometimes.

-Do you?

Sam said and it got tense because who knew what would be the answer.

-Yes. I do.

-Then talk, we’re waiting.

You glared at the older brother, he didn’t had the right to talk to her like that. Not right now.

-This not of your damn business.

She turned heel, grabbing your hand as she was about to walk out. But you didn’t wanted to.

-Com on (y/n), we’re going.

-No!

-Yes.

She responded with an angry voice which, in normal circumstances you would have listened but not right now, not like that.

-We stay. I stay.

She raised her chin, she looked so intimating, so strong but you knew otherwise.

-I said, we are going.

She hissed between your teeth and you knew that was her last call but it was also yours and both of you were aware that she wouldn’t let you here alone with people like them.

-And I said, NO! 

She jumped a bit at your last word, it was probably the first time you ever talked to her like that.

-This time Bela, you will give answer and not only to me. These are my friend and you have no right to talk to them like that.

No one talked, you loved that sudden power that grew inside your guts because you knew that you won something and it worked because you had everything together.

-And Dean, calm down, she’s just back from fucking hell, she has the right to be on her guard damn it.

The man nodded and it felt like the pressure in the room had drop suddenly.

-You can go Crowley, there is no need of your filthy present here anymore.

Castiel spoke harshly. It didn’t took more for you to understand them two didn’t liked each other. Who would blame him, one’s an angel one’s a demon, it’s not rocket science.

-Oh no I insist to stay. I can’t wait to hear the wonderful tales of Bela and the help she gave to our friend Lilith all spiced up by the information she provided to Abaddon while this   
one was trying to build a bloody army. Oh and I almost forgot her little trip to the cage that almost got Lucifer out! 

Crowley was screaming at this point, he was red from anger that your sister’s acts built up inside of him.

-Is this true?

-Yes. It is.

You hadn’t realized until this point that she had never, not even once, let go of her gaze off of him. She was scared of the king. She really was.

-That doesn’t explain how you got out?

-I did it alone, like everything I ever did.

Those words hit you right in the face and they hurt more than anything. You knew she didn’t meant that way but for you, this was just betrayal because it was a lie, she had never been obligated to be alone, ever. 

-Did your new friend showed you the exit to hell? I heard it didn’t went very well between you two.

That was way too much, the anger built up in this room, in yourself in everything.

-I thought I had found a way out of hell and it was risky but if you’ve ever been in hell you would know that nothing is worse than this. So I went for it. Don’t blame me, I already   
did all the work myself. There was three people there. Well, one the other two were archangels. They instantly found me and the impossible happened, it got worse. You don’t think that Lucifer would be a soft one but it was the other one that surprised me the most.

She laughed under her breath to cover up the sadness and the trauma.

-I managed to escape after a long time. Too long… And I was back in hell. You don’t know how ridiculous it feels to be dying even when you’re already dead. 

-Get to the point, I’m bored.

That Damn Demon was getting on your nerve, no one had the right to talk to her like that.

-I followed someone after that, I don’t even who and why they let me follow, but they did. That’s how I got out.

You walked closer, this time she was back alright and she wasn’t telling the whole story, you knew that, but at least she said what could be said right now and you were so proud that she managed to do it.

-That’s how we got out.

-We?

-I let that little boy come with me. 

-Who?

-I don’t know his name, I doubt he even remember himself.

-Adam?

You turned to Sam and Dean, again, they knew more than you could imagine.

-Yes. It was him.

Castiel hadn’t spoken since the beginning of the conversation, it was somehow comforting to hear him again.

-Where is he now?

Dean’s voice cracked, there was something deep in that story and you found some regrets hidden.

-He’s in peace.

The brother nodded and to break the present silent Crowley coughed and you sighed.

-That was extremely touching, now could you let me go.

-No. 

This voice, it was yours and you didn’t knew who was more surprised, you or them.

-First you have to explain me why did you wanted to kill my sister back there?

-Listen mini Bela, that sister of yours found a way in and out to Lucifer’s cage of course I wanted to kill her, the question you have to ask is who doesn’t want to kill her now. 

You had to admit that he was right, everyone were looking for her, she was probably the only person who ever escaped entirely from that place they called the cage. She was the first one, the only one and you weren’t stupid enough to believe that those demons would ever let go. But for now she was safe, you were all safe.

 

\---

 

You past three more days in the bunker, alone with Bela or with both her and the brothers.  
She hated them and you knew she would never be in peace here. You both had to decide if she would either stay safe but unhappy of risk her life outside but having her next to you, like before.

Obviously she didn’t stayed and you had to follow.

Sadly enough, you never saw the boys again after that. You thought you had seen Castiel outside of your widow once but maybe it was just a shadow, maybe it was just nostalgia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry that ending suck, I'm the worst at ending please don't be mad

**Author's Note:**

> Please add commentary it help a lot and if you are interested in a part two ( which I am too ) please express yourself down below


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